100 Ways...

For Parents to be Involved in Their Child's Education

1. Give positive feedback and show appreciation for teachers and the principal.
   
   
2. Approach interactions with a positive attitude and an open mind.
   
   
3. Listen to others' viewpoints.
   
   
4. Share your child's strengths, talents, and interests with your child's teachers.
   
   
5. Share expectations and set goals together for your child.
   
   
6. Make appointments as needed to discuss your child's progress or concerns.
   
   
7. Attend parent-teacher conferences with specific questions you want to ask.
   
   
8. Indicate the best way to giver you information (phone, e-mail, notes, etc.).
   
   
9. Understand and reinforce school rules and expectations at home.
   
   
10. Participate in informal opportunities to talk with and to get to know school staff and educators.
    
    
11. Address concerns or questions honestly, openly, and early on.
    
    
12. Attend PTA or parent meetings regularly.
    
    
13. Read classroom and/or school newsletters.
    
    
14. Visit your school's web page.
    
    
15. Know school staff's extensions and office hours.
    
    
16. Read and know your school's handbook.
    
    
17. Request that information be available in all relevant languages.
    
    
18. Share your family's culture, values, and parenting practices with your child's school.
    
    
19. Share your perceptions with educators and school staff of how parents are treated.
    
    
20. Work with school staff and educators to revise and improve perceptions and school climate.
    
    
21. Meet your child's friends and get to know their parents.
    
    
22. Contact your school for information on family programs and resources.
    
    
23. Help establish a parent center at school and use its resources.
    
    
24. Help create a toy/book lending library and visit it regularly.
    
    
25. Assist in developing parent support programs/groups and attend them.
    
    
26. Attend workshops or seminars on various parenting topics.
    
    
27. Participate in parenting classes on child development, expectations, discipline, etc.
    
    
28. Attend parent fairs and other events especially for parents and families.
    
    
29. Start a parent book club to discuss current publications.
    
    
30. Help create and/or contribute to a school newsletter on parenting.
    
    
31. Assist in creating and/or offer your services to before- and after-school programs.
    
    
32. Build a child file with medical records, pictures, fingerprints, etc.
    
    
33. Make donations and/or offer to work at clothing drives or swaps, food co-ops, etc.
    
    
34. Ask teachers or counselors about how to talk with your children about tough topics.
    
    
35. Discuss your child's school day and homework daily.
    
    
36. Learn your child's strengths and weaknesses in different areas of school.
    
    
37. Provide a quiet, well-lighted place with basic school supplies for studying/homework.
    
    
38. Help your children break down projects into smaller, more manageable steps.
    
    
39. Develop a consistent daily routine and time for studying and homework.
    
    
40. Provide encouragement and approval for effort and schoolwork.
    
    
41. Share your interests, hobbies, and talents with your children.
    
    
42. Provide children with books, magazines, and so forth, and develop a nighttime reading routine.
    
    
43. View selected TV programs together and then review and discuss them.
    
    
44. Make family trips to the library, zoo, museum, or park a fun learning experience.
    
    
45. Talk with your child's teacher on creating home learning games and activities.
    
    
46. Complete interactive homework assignments with your child.
    
    
47. Attend meetings on learning expectations, assessment, and grading procedures.
    
    
48. Help set goals and develop a personalized education plan for your child.
    
    
49. Participate in activities that help you understand school technology.
    
    
50. Help plan and attend family nights on improving study habits, doing homework, etc.
    
    
51. Help develop, visit, or offer services to your school's study/tutor center.
    
    
52. Participate in fairs and fests for math, science, history, and so forth.
    
    
53. Respond to school surveys on your interests, talents, and skills.
    
    
54. Let school staff know your availability to volunteer (days, times, and how often).
    
    
55. Supervise and coordinate evening and weekend volunteer activities at school
    
    
56. Assist your child's teacher in the classroom or on field trips when you are able.
    
    
57. Work with school staff and teachers to develop volunteer activities you can do from home.
    
    
58. Assist school staff and educators in creating a warm and welcoming atmosphere for parents.
    
    
59. Help provide child care and/or transportation for volunteering parents.
    
    
60. Help develop creative ways to use volunteers at school.
    
    
61. Actively help school staff recruit parents and community members as volunteers.
    
    
62. Attend training and orientation on how to be an effective volunteer.
    
    
63. Learn and uphold school discipline, confidentiality, and other policies as a volunteer.
    
    
64. Plan a regular time each week to talk with school staff and educators with whom you are working.
    
    
65. Help developed volunteer job descriptions and evaluations.
    
    
66. Participate in organizing and planning ways to recognize and appreciate volunteers.
    
    
67. Respond to school surveys/questionnaires on how effective volunteer programs are.
    
    
68. Help develop and distribute a volunteer directory to parents, school staff, and teachers.
    
    
69. Provide volunteer consulting services to school staff or educators in your area of expertise.
    
    
70. Learn of school and district policies and practices that affect children.
    
    
71. Voice your support or concerns on any issue that will affect your family.
    
    
72. Be involved in decisions on student placement and course and textbook selections.
    
    
73. Participate in meetings to determine special educational needs and services.
    
    
74. Attend workshops on problem solving, conflict resolution, public speaking, and so forth.
    
    
75. Serve on school advisory councils or committees on curriculum, discipline, and so forth.
    
    
76. Serve on a site-based school management team with teachers and the principal.
    
    
77. Encourage and support older children in serving in student leadership positions.
    
    
78. Help your school create a student's rights and responsibilities guide for families.
    
    
79. Attend PTA, school board, and/or town meetings and speak to issues of concern.
    
    
80. Learn representatives' backgrounds and participate in school board election.
    
    
81. Work with teachers and school administrators to develop a parent involvement policy.
    
    
82. Write, call, or travel to state capitals to support or oppose proposed legislation.
    
    
83. Participate in petition drives or letter-writing campaigns to Congress on legislation.
    
    
84. Give testimony at public hearings in support of or opposition to education legislation.
    
    
85. Vote in local, state, and federal elections for public officials who support education.
    
    
86. Help your school develop a directory of social and community services.
    
    
87. Find out information on community resources and organizations and use them.
    
    
88. Help develop and/or distribute a community newsletter to local agencies and businesses.
    
    
89. Help coordinate and participate in an event to raise money for a local charity.
    
    
90. Talk with employers about holding parent meetings or parenting workshops on-site.
    
    
91. Advocate for flexible work schedules and leave time to attend school functions.
    
    
92. Encourage employers and local businesses to make donations and support school programs.
    
    
93. Help organize and/or participate in community health fairs.
    
    
94. Help recruit community members (seniors, business people) to volunteer at school.
    
    
95. Become active in community groups such as YMCA and Boy and Girl Scouts.
    
    
96. Serve on local community advisory councils and committees.
    
    
97. Work with local authorities and public officials to sponsor community events.
    
    
98. Help organize and/or participate in a community "clean up" or "beautification" project.
    
    
99. Encourage and help facilitate your child's participation in community service.
    
    
100. Be a role model—be active in community service yourself or together with your child.
     
     

Source: National PTA.

NEA/PTA Parent Guides

Practical Information that Parents Can Put to Use

Developed through a joint effort between NEA and National Parent Teacher Association (PTA), these guides provide parents and caregivers with fundamental tools to encourage their children's success in school.

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	A Parent's Guide to Preparing Your Child for School 4-color brochure ( 395 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 60 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to a Successful Kindergarten Transition 4-color brochure ( 384 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 61 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child Do Well in School 4-color brochure ( 241 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 66 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Teen Get the Most Out of High School 4-color brochure ( 275 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 56 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Raising Ready Readers—and Keeping Them That Way 4-color brochure ( 299 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 56 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child Learn to Read 4-color brochure ( 287 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 62 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child with Today's Math 4-color brochure ( 285 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 62 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Raising Scientifically Literate Children 4-color brochure ( 285 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 63 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide: Hey Mom, I Want To Be An Engineer! 4-color brochure ( 256 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 14) B&W plain text version ( 89 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 14)
	A Parent's Guide to Testing at Your Child's School 4-color brochure ( 278 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 63 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Choosing Supplemental Education Service Providers 4-color brochure ( 296 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 60 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)

Thinking Skills: How Parents Can Help

Thinking and being aware of our own thoughts are skills that make us human. Thinking is an active process. It encompasses events that range from daydreaming to problem solving. It is a kind of ongoing, internal dialogue that accompanies actions like performing a task, observing a scene or expressing an opinion.

What Does "Teaching Thinking in School" Mean?

The "teaching thinking" movement goes beyond the learning of facts. It encourages students to ask questions of the information and ideas presented in class. It helps students learn how to identify unstated assumptions, to form and defend opinions, to see relationships between events and ideas.

There are many approaches to teaching thinking. Some educators teach students to use a set of identifiable skills — such as discriminating between relevant and irrelevant points in a particular argument, or generating questions from written material. Others try to involve students in classroom experiences that will help them think more actively — such as a classroom debate or a mock court case.

What Are Some Examples of Thinking Skills Instruction?

• In an American history class, students might use a simulation exercise to understand the points of view of the colonists and the British at the time of the Revolution. That is, after studying background information, students would play roles of persons on both sides of the conflict, debating the issues as they reflect their imagined families, work and community.

• In a mathematics class, students might work together in pairs. While one student acts as problem solver, talking aloud his or her thinking on how to solve a problem, the other student is an active listener, asking questions and helping the problem solver think through the process. Later, these students would exchange roles.

• In a first grade classroom, the teacher might engage students in a discussion of the reliability of evidence after reading them the story of Chicken Little. The teacher might lead this discussion by asking students whether the other animals should have trusted Chicken Little, and how they could have determined the truth or falsity of her story.

• After viewing a film on the Lewis and Clark expedition, a fifth grade teacher might ask students to work in pairs, listing the steps involved in planning and carrying out the expedition.

• Children of all ages can do team research. For example, elementary school children might investigate the effects of the gold rush on westward expansion, while secondary students might study the traffic flow in a major intersection of their community.

• Thinking skills can even be taught in performance courses, such as band or woodworking. In band, students might be asked to think about how a piece would sound if the tempo or volume were changed. They might mark their scores with different tempos and volumes, then play the re-marked scores to hear the resulting differences in the music. Woodworking can be seen as a series of problems requiring solution. For example, instead of constructing a table by following a preset model, students might be encouraged to draw several ways of making a table (such as differing arrangements of legs or other supports, various tabletop shapes), and experiment with each design on small models, determining which are the most stable, pleasing to the student and so on.

How Can Students' Thinking Skills Be Evaluated?

First, it's important to say that evaluating thinking skills is not the same as evaluating the number of words students spell correctly — students are not graded on how well they do, and there is generally no "right" answer. The teacher evaluates students' thinking skills to see where they are at a given time, and to see where they may need extra work.

Students' thinking skills might be evaluated orally or with a paper-and-pencil test. For example, a teacher might be interested in evaluating students' skills in analysis — a breaking-down process to find out how parts fit together to make a whole. Students might be asked to list the steps involved in solving a particular problem, or to break down a task (such as making a bed) into its component parts.

How Can Parents Help Their Children Think More Actively?

As a parent you can:

• Encourage your children to ask questions about the world around them.

• When reading to or with young children, ask them to imagine what will happen next in the story.

• Actively listen to your children's conversation, responding seriously and non-judgmentally to the questions they raise.

• When your children express feelings, ask why they feel that way.

• Suggest that your children find facts to support their opinions, and then encourage them to locate information relevant to their opinions.

• Use entertainment — a TV program or a movie — as the basis of family discussions.

• Use daily activities as occasions for learning. For example, instead of sending a child to the store with a simple list of items to purchase, talk with the child first about how much each item might cost, how much all the items might cost, how much all the items might add up to, and estimate how much change she should receive.

• Reward your children for inquisitive and/or creative activity that is productive.

• Ask your children what questions their teachers are raising in class. For example, a history class might be "asking" how American westward expansion began.

Remember, if your children are active participants in a home where there is talk about the why and the how of things, they are more likely to be active thinkers both in and out of school.

Motivation for Learning: Parents Can Help

As parents, we want our children to learn. We know the benefits of being able to read well, to write clearly, to solve problems and to communicate effectively. Not only do these abilities allow us to earn a decent living, but they also help us to enjoy life and to appreciate its wonders and beauty.

So, as many generations before us, we preach the benefits of a good education and try with deliberate effort to uphold, at least verbally, the values of studying, of "hitting the books and burning the midnight oil." But with our sermonettes, cajoling, and in some instances, begging and threatening our children to study and learn, many of them seem to turn away and perceive us simply as nagging parents with little impact on their daily learning. We, in turn, often feel guilty and fatigued by these constant battles for our children's benefit, and resent our roles as minister-wardens in the service of modern education.

What Can Parents Do?

There is much that we can do. What follows is a checklist of parental behaviors that can facilitate the motivation of our children to learn. None of these suggestions in and of itself is enough to spell the difference between a child who studies and one who does not. Rather, it is their combination and employment as a totality that can realistically help our sons and daughters to consistently involve themselves in the pursuit of learning at school as well as at home.

• Actively demonstrate your value for learning. The basic question here is "Can your children see that you are still a learner?" Do you read books, go to the library, watch educational TV programs, write letters, or attend local school functions? Do you discuss ideas at home, share opinions on social and political change, or wonder out loud about new scientific and aesthetic discoveries? Do you read to your children, play educational games like Monopoly and chess with them, or facilitate their involvement in creative projects?

  Our modeling is a powerful incentive to our children's learning. If they see us doing it, then they know it's worthwhile and can identify with us. If they don't see us enjoying learning, they can dismiss our support for learning as another example of "not practicing what we preach."

• Show a non-threatening interest in your child's learning. This means that you care and want to know what your child is learning, but not for purposes of criticism or surveillance. In this manner you might ask about what he is learning in school or indicate your desire to see papers and projects he is creating.

  The dinner table is an excellent setting for exploration of new things your child has learned at school. On these occasions your disposition should be to understand and share in the enjoyment of your child's learning. They are not situations in which to criticize or be demanding of the child to improve or to show superior work. Such reactions will usually cause the young person to avoid discussions of this nature — or worse, to resent schoolwork for the oppression it brings to homelife.

• Consistently offer your child a sincere expectancy that she can learn effectively. In order to learn, children must believe that they can learn. Much of this attitude is influenced by the work they do in school and the expectations and feedback they receive from teachers and other students. You as a parent, however, are the most important adult in your child's life. Whatever you say or do regarding her ability to learn will have a major impact on the child's self-concept as an effective learner.

  By acknowledging effort as well as success, you tell the child that the intrinsic act of learning is valued. This approach builds an appreciation of learning for the sake of learning.

• Get involved in your child's school. At one time it was believed that students did not learn because they were lazy or stupid. We now know that this is a misleading and injurious fallacy. At least two other erroneous beliefs continue to misguide us, however — one, that students don't learn because their teachers are not effective; the other, that students will not learn because their parents don't care and therefore don't prepare them to learn. Both may have some partial truth, but both are far too simplistic to explain the causes behind poor student motivation.

  It is far more likely that the student, the teacher and the parent all play significant roles in determining how motivated the student is to learn. As parents, we can do our part by being involved in the life of those schools that educate our children. By knowing the teachers, by being aware of the curriculum, and by supporting the school itself, we ourselves can be more knowledgeable and, indeed, motivated to facilitate the motivation of our children to learn.

Discipline that Works

The hope of every parent is to have children who are responsible, concerned members of society. Discipline is, of course, part of this effort. Research has repeatedly shown that, despite the importance of the peer group, parents usually have much more influence than they realize. Disciplining children takes a great deal of effort, but the main idea is that children and parents can change.

Changing behavior requires much time and well-thought-out reactions. Some parents simply do not have the time, energy or patience to attempt to motivate change in the child or even in themselves. It is not easy, but read on. You will be convinced that it can be done. You can do it!

Positive Steps Toward Better Discipline

Let your children know you like them. Tell your children how much you admire their good qualities. Don't take their good behavior for granted. Remember to reward them once in a while. These rewards may take the form of extra time reading to your child, time spent in an activity chosen by your child, or even something as simple as a hug.

Listening to your children, hugging them, smiling or talking with them are all rewards, the kind that you can give hundreds of times every day. One of the most powerful rewards for children is the love, interest and attention they receive from their mother and father.

Let your children know exactly what you expect of them — set limits. Youngsters, who would be the last to admit it, find too much freedom frightening. Set limits for the actions that your children are not ready to control themselves. Children need to know exactly what parents expect of them and also how parents will react to their behavior.

It is important to state your requests clearly. For example, it is much easier for the child to follow the direction, "Please put your glass in the center of the table" than "Be careful with your milk. It's so close to the edge of the table it will fall off." Set rules that you think are important and be firm in seeing that your children follow them. Above all, do not make rules you have no intention of enforcing.

Encourage responsible decision making. Whenever possible, find areas in which you know your children can make decisions for themselves. If your child approaches you with a request you feel you should deny, try saying, "What would you say if you were in my place? What should I say? What would be my reason?" You'll find that if you treat children as responsible individuals, their level of responsibility increases rapidly.

Set a good example. Remember that children are great imitators. While you are telling your children why you think they should not steal, cheat or be cruel to others, be sure they cannot cite some example of your behavior that contradicts these values. Be honest yourself — hypocrisy shows.

Encourage your children to respect proper authority. At home, in school and in other areas of their lives, your children need to know the importance of respecting authority. It is a simple fact that some things cannot or will not be changed. Certain rules must be followed. Help your children understand that it is harmful to them, as well as to everyone else, to have constant arguments, fights and problems with peers and adults. Let your child see how his or her misbehavior affects other people.

Have fun with your children. Young people need to interact with adults. Try choosing a regular time each week to do things as a family. Engaging in sports, playing games, sharing hobbies, visiting museums are some of the many activities that parents and children can enjoy together. In addition, initiate your children to join you in some activities in which they may not usually be asked to participate. Also encourage your children to ask questions and to express their own points of view.

What About Punishment?

Thus far, we have approached the subject of discipline from a very positive standpoint. Changing behavior with positive methods is the best way. But it is a rather slow process, and you may find some behaviors of your child that you need to change more quickly.

Punishment, if used properly, will produce rapid changes in behaviors that disrupt the family. It is strongly recommended, however, that you use punishment sparingly. It does encourage the child to refrain from certain behaviors, but your real task as a parent is to teach the child to be a person. By using the more positive methods described earlier, you can teach the child positive ways of behaving.

Effective punishment relies on withholding rewards or privileges and provides a clearcut method of earning them back. Before punishing, it is a good idea to give a cue (a physical or verbal warning that the behavior is to stop at once). Then punishment should follow immediately after the offense so that the child understands the association between the misbehavior and the punishment.

Avoid physical punishment because other forms of discipline (short periods of isolation or withholding privileged activities) focus more on the behavior and less on the self-concept of the child. Hatred builds quickly when punishment hurts the child physically.

Realistically, however, because some physical punishment is likely, care should be taken that it is neither severe nor prolonged. Physical punishment can be harmful to a child and does not accomplish the goal. Besides, no parents want their children to fear them. If a parent slaps or hits a child in anger, the undesirable behavior may stop, but two things are wrong with this method:

• both parent and child are likely to be upset for some time
• no parent can hit a child every time he or she does something undesirable.

Don't Give Up

Consistency will determine the success of whatever discipline methods you use. Each time you ask your children to do something, you also have a job. Be predictable — follow through. Remember, too, that your children may have been misbehaving for some time. If this is the case, when you start to correct them, they may not think you mean it. They will learn that you mean business when you continue to follow your program consistently.

If you see your children slipping into behaviors you cannot correct by yourself, it may be time to seek outside assistance. When you feel you have exhausted your own efforts, your child's teacher, school counselor, or principal, your pastor or rabbi, or a child or adolescent psychologist may be able to suggest some helpful ideas and strategies.

Remember, changing or establishing parental discipline is a long, slow, often tedious, process. The important thing is to form a clear objective, then take a few steps at a time in that direction.

Bridging the Great Homework Divide:

A solutions guide for parents of middle school students

In a recent survey, parents and middle school students reported that they are challenged by the demands of homework. Responses to the survey, titled The Great Homework Divide, indicate that students and their parents are struggling to adjust to the middle school workload, which can be both heavier and more varied than previously experienced by these students in a typical elementary school:

• Two-thirds of parents (66 percent) say that their middle school student seeks their help with homework.
• More than half of middle school students (57 percent) and their parents (59 percent) report that parents spend at least one hour a night helping with homework.
• Parents also report helping middle school students with homework, on average, two and one-half nights a week.

In cooperation with LeapFrog Enterprises, Inc., the National Education Association has developed a solutions guide, titled Bridging the Great Homework Divide: A Solutions Guide for Parents of Middle School Students, to help parents and middle school students meet the homework challenges they may face.

REASONS FOR HOMEWORK

Teachers assign homework for many reasons—to give students an opportunity to review class lessons, to measure students’ understanding of those lessons, and to help students extend their learning by finding and using new information on a subject. Homework can be an extension of the classroom; it allows students to practice applying skills they have already learned.   Homework also can benefit parents because it offers them a chance to learn what their children are expected to accomplish during the school year.

A HEAVIER MIDDLE SCHOOL HOMEWORK LOAD

Frequently, middle school teachers in all subjects assign nightly homework—and some teachers may add longer term projects, such as research papers, projects, and reports. The Great Homework Divide survey found the average sixth grader has 60–90 minutes of homework per night, and seventh and eighth graders can have homework that requires them to devote as much as two hours. More homework from more teachers requires students to develop organizational and planning skills. Parents can play an important role in their children’s success by providing a support system for meeting homework requirements.

STRICTER HOMEWORK POLICIES

Middle school students often face more exacting standards about how homework should be completed and the effect of homework on final grades than they previously experienced in elementary school. Many middle school teachers mandate that assignments be turned in on time and in a specific style or format. It is not uncommon for a teacher in middle school to give zero credit for late homework or to grade down for not following homework guidelines.

It is important for parents and teachers to work as a team when it comes to students' completing homework and receiving a quality public education and life-long learning experiences. Ensuring students' success is a shared responsibility. We have compiled some tips to help ease the challenges of the homework transition for middle school students:

1. Be prepared

• Assume your child will have studying to do every night. Even if they do not have a specific assignment to complete, establish and maintain regular homework time. If students do not have any homework on a particular night, suggest that they study for upcoming tests, do background research for long term assignments, review notes from class, or read a book.
• Set up a comfortable location for doing homework. Students need a distraction-free place to do homework. The kitchen table, provided there is proper lighting, a clean work surface, and a supportive chair, can be an ideal place. If other family members are using this common area, setting up a desk in your child's room may be the answer. You and your child can pick out lighting, a seat cushion, and other accessories together. Avoid letting your child do homework in an environment that is too comfortable, such as on a bed or a couch.
• Make sure your child has the necessary supplies.Many middle school teachers require specific tools, such as red pens, highlighters, graph paper, calculators, and three-hole punches. They may also expect students to have access to a computer and the Internet, which most school and public libraries make available for everyone's use.
• Work with your child’s outside activity schedule and preferences when setting up a regular homework time. Many middle school students have an assortment of outside activities that may leave them few opportunities for doing homework. Try to make it easier by establishing a routine homework time. Some children have a better attention span in the afternoon or evening and can order their priorities based on their family schedules.
• Help your child get organized. It is a good idea—and often a teacher's requirement—for your child to keep a schedule planner. Encourage your child to write down all assignments daily and even use the planner to maintain a longer-term "to-do" list. Students may enjoy checking off assignments as they are completed, allowing them to easily see the progress made over time in keeping up with their work.

2. Understand teachers' policies and expectations

• Ensure that your child knows each teacher's homework policy. Most middle school teachers either hand out a printed summary of homework expectations or post it on the class Web site at the beginning of the school year or new semester. Review the expectations together and have your child keep the summary in a personal binder or in a safe place at home that is easily accessible.
• Encourage your child to ask questions.Some middle school students are nervous about asking their teachers about assignments or instructions they don't understand. Reinforce the notion that teachers want students to ask questions before leaving the classroom or school for the day so that they have the information they need to complete assignments properly.
• Remind your child to visit teachers if needed.Teachers often make a point to be in the classroom before school, at lunch, or after school. If students are still having trouble understanding homework assignments, encourage them to take a few minutes to discuss homework questions with the teacher when they can talk one-on-one.

3. Be available and teach by example

• Make yourself available during homework time. While you've probably had a long day, just like your child, and may want to watch a TV show or run errands, it can benefit you both if you are nearby while they do homework. You may consider using this time to read, pay bills, or do paperwork that you can easily set aside if your child needs assistance with homework. Once everyone's work is done, maybe that walk outside or favorite family activity can be a treat for you all to share.  
• Stop by and check in while your child does homework, offering your support and advice. Teachers believe parents are the best source of motivation for students. You may serve as a sounding board as your child works through interesting ideas or challenging problems.
• Show interest in your child's schoolwork and discuss what your child is learning.Although they might not admit it, middle school students still like to know that their parents are interested in what they do. Ask questions about school that day, new homework assignments, or what your child likes or does not like about a particular lesson, class, or subject.
• Watch for signs of failure or frustration. If you sense that your child is getting frustrated or discouraged, try to provide guidance without necessarily providing answers. Sometimes suggesting that your child take a short break can be the best advice you can give. Offer to talk through the problem following the break. Your positive attitude about working through frustrations also can be part of the learning process. You will be helping your child to develop a healthy ability to stick with problems until they can be solved.

4. Identify other resources

• Don't hesitate to line up extra support if needed. If your child is having regular problems completing the homework for a certain subject, it may be time to schedule a conference with the teacher for you and your child. A teacher may be willing to offer suggestions for tutors or small-group study sessions in your area. Some schools offer peer tutoring or, in some instances, local high school students or community members may volunteer as tutors at the middle school.
• Get to know the guidance counselors and other school employees. Education support professionals generally know all of the students in the school, and their relationship with your child will continue as they advance from one grade to the next. In addition to teachers, other school employees can be great resources for homework assistance.
• Encourage your child to find homework buddies.It is always a good idea for children to identify a homework buddy in each class, someone they can call with questions or if they miss class.
• Consider providing technology aids to boost homework help.You may want to take advantage of the many technology-based tools now available. Today, parents can choose from a variety of educational software programs, a vast array of online resources, and even a new technology such as LeapFrog's FLY™ Pentop Computer, which serves as a homework coach for difficult subjects.

5. Stay in touch with your children's teachers

• E-mail can be an effective way to maintain regular contact with middle school teachers. The typical middle school teacher has about 150 students, many more than grade school teachers have. While this may limit the time teachers are available to talk with you by phone or meet with you in person, e-mail can be a great way to catch them during their daily breaks and in the evening. Check to see whether your child's teacher has access to e-mail.
• Let teachers know of any significant changes at home.Especially because they have so many students, middle school teachers need to have all the information possible regarding things that are going on with your family that may affect your child’s school performance.
• Get involved where you can. Unlike elementary school, parents in middle school are not often requested to help in the classroom. But you can make an effort to participate by offering to assist in the classroom for special projects, to drive and chaperone on field trips, or to share some relevant expertise.

6. Nurture your child's interests

• Inspire learning outside of school.Children who see opportunities for learning everywhere are more likely to view schoolwork as an extension of their interest in the world, rather than as a burden. If they enjoy sports, encourage them to hunt for articles in the paper or magazines about their favorite teams. If they love the arts, share reviews of movies or plays from newspapers and magazines. If you have a budding scientist, explore local parks and look for interesting plants to identify and study.
• Find activities that parallel what your child is studying in school. Learning expands for children who live what they learn in school. If your child is studying a foreign language, check out a popular teen movie in that language from the library or find a cookbook with recipes from that country to prepare together. Visit a museum exhibit on mummies if your child is studying ancient Egypt. Encourage your child to use new math or writing skills to balance an allowance budget or to write a poem or essay for a local contest.  

LEAPFROG, the LeapFrog logo, and FLY are trademarks or registered trademarks
of LeapFrog Enterprises, Inc. © 2006 LeapFrog Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved.
© Copyright 2002-2006 National Education Association.

National Summer Learning Day—July 12

Summer is a time when kids relax and recharge their batteries for the coming school year. On the downside, it's often accompanied by 'summer slide'—a loss in knowledge and academic skills. In the fall, teachers typically spend six weeks (or longer) revisiting material that students covered the previous year, just to bring them up to speed. How can parents help their kids retain learning, and still provide the relaxation they need?

With a little planning, parents can structure a summer vacation that balances work and play. Here are some ideas:

• Learning camps are a great way for kids to have fun and stay intellectually engaged. From crafts to computers, there's a camp for every avocation. And since many cities offer free or low-cost camps, more families can take advantage.

• Plan family outings to museums, zoos, and cultural attractions. Nearly every major city has a natural history museum—a perennial favorite with kids. Also, exploratoriums offer the allure of hands-on fun while teaching science.

• Make regular trips to the public library. If they don't already have them, get library cards for all family members—and use them often. Let children see that reading for pleasure, as well as information, is an important part of your life. You can use our reading lists to choose books that will keep kids turning those pages!

  • Teachers' Top 100 Books for Children
  • Kids' Top 100 Books
  • Asian-American Booklist
  • Spanish/English Bilingual Booklist
  • 50 Multicultural Books Every Child Should Know
  • Celebrity Book Picks
  • 50 State Booklist
  • Youth Leaders for Literacy Booklist
  • Native American Booklist
  • African American Booklist
  • Authors' Favorites Booklist
    

• Introduce kids to educational Web sites that can help keep their skills sharp. Check out the American Library Association's links to Great Web Sites for Kids.

For more information on National Summer Learning Day, and about keeping kids engaged in learning throughout the summer, visit www.summerlearning.org/summerlearningday/.

Tips for Reading to Preschoolers

• Snuggle with your child with her favorite blanket or toys as you read.
  
• Read with expression using different voices for different characters.
  
• Emphasize rhythms and rhymes in stories. Give your toddler opportunities to repeat rhyming phrases.
  
• Encourage your child to repeat what you say or comment on it. Encourage your child to ask questions. Provide models of interesting questions and examples of possible answers: "I wonder what is going to happen next? I think the rabbit will get lost because he is not paying attention to where he is going. What do you think?"
  
• Look for books that are about things that interest your toddler. For example, does your child like cars, insects or animals?
  
• Give your child a chance to choose his own books for reading. If your toddler chooses a book that is too long to hold his attention, read some and skip some, discussing the pictures and how they relate to the story.
  
• Read stories again and again. Your toddler enjoys repetition, and it helps her become familiar with the way stories are organized.
  
• If your child is curious and is making comments about letters, there is no reason why she should not become familiar with the alphabet before she starts school. Playing with alphabet blocks and singing "The Alphabet Song" are happy ways for your child to become acquainted with letters.
  
• Make books a joyous and important part of your child's life. Read to him every day. Let him talk about the stories. Ask questions about the pictures. Ask him to point out pictured objects that are alike and different in shape and in color. This activity helps children to observe small differences in the shapes of letters and words when learning to read.
  
• Avoid baby talk. Speak to your child in grownup language now, so she will recognize words she sees and hears in the classroom. Also, baby words for objects may be laughed at by the other youngsters.
  
• Provide a variety of experiences. Take your child to the zoo, the park, the airport. Teach your child the names of animals, flowers, etc. In order to understand the words encountered in reading, your child should have first-hand experience with the objects they stand for.
  
• From time to time, give your child simple, consecutive instructions. For example: "Pick up the ball, then bounce it, then put it on the table." Make a game out of it, if you like. Such activities will help your child develop memory skills and follow directions accurately, both of which are essential in school.
  
• Set a good example as a reader—read every day at home even if it is a magazine or newspaper.
  
• Make reading fun, a time that you both look forward to spending together.

Tips for Reading to and with Children in Kindergarten–Grade 3

• Keep reading to your child even when he can read. Read books that are too difficult or long for him to read alone.
  
• Try reading books with chapters and talk about what is happening in the story. Encourage your child to make predictions about what will happen next and connect characters or events to those in other books and stories.
  
• Talk with your child about reading preferences that are beginning to develop. Ask whether she likes adventure stories, mysteries, science fiction, animal stories or stories about other children. Encourage her to explain the reasons for preferences.
  
• Talk with your child about favorite authors and help him find additional books by those authors.
  
• Take turns reading a story with your child. Don't interrupt to correct mistakes that do not change the meaning.
  
• Talk about the meaning of new words and ideas introduced in books. Help your child think of examples of new concepts.
  
• Talk with your child about stories using the notions of the beginning, middle and end of the story to organize thinking and discussion.
  
• Ask your child to tell why a character might have taken a specific action. Ask for information from the story to support your answer.
  
• If he wants to read aloud to you from his school book, listen attentively. If he stumbles over a word from time to time, simply tell him what it is. However, if he misses many words in material with which he should be familiar, consult his teacher.
  
• When she reads aloud to you, don't try to use teaching techniques, such as having her "sound out" words. Instead, enjoy the story together, laugh over it, discuss the plot, praise her for reading especially well, or for figuring out a word for herself.
  
• Give children extra opportunities to read. Let them read the directions for that new game or for putting model airplanes together. Ask them to "help you" by reading the cookie recipe or traffic signs.
  
• Introduce the pleasures of the public library. Let him browse. Get a library card for her. Let him choose books that he wants, rather than books you feel he should read. Buy books for children, too, as the basis for a home library of their own.
  
• Set a good example as a reader—read every day at home even if it is a magazine or newspaper.
  
• Make reading fun, a time that you both look forward to spending together.

Tips for Reading to and with Children in Grades 4-6

• Take turns reading a book with your child.
  
• Ask your child to compare a book to another familiar book. How are the characters alike or different? Do the stories take place in similar settings? How are the illustrations the same or different?
  
• Ask what part of the story or book your child liked best and why.
  
• Ask if your child liked the ending of the story. Why or why not?
  
• Ask your child what type of mood the story or chapter in a book creates. Ask how the author creates the mood. For example, does she use certain words, events or settings that create a particular feeling?
  
• If your child has read more than one book by the same author, ask how the books are similar or different.
  
• Provide your child with a reliable home dictionary and encyclopedia. Encourage children to look up subjects that puzzle or interest them. In school, reading lessons include library research.
  
• If your child is not enthusiastic about reading, choose books on subjects sure to interest her or him: books on sports, books of riddles or magic tricks, books on hobbies. Be sure they are not too difficult for your child to read.
  
• If she's a television rather than a reading fan, see which programs she prefers and provide suitable books on the same subjects. If Westerns are her favorites, for example, she'll probably enjoy some of the fine children's books now available about the early West.
  
• If a young person is an avid comic book reader (ages 9, 10 and 11 are likely to be), don't make a big issue out of it. Make sure your child is also provided with other more worthwhile books that offer lively adventure in an easy-to-read format. Most children outgrow the comic book phase, if other literature is available in their homes.
  
• Set a good example as a reader—read every day at home even if it is a magazine or newspaper.
  
• Make reading fun, a time that you both look forward to spending together.

Other Resources

Be a Parent Leader at Your Child’s School

There are many ways to get involved at your child’s school that make a meaningful difference to student achievement and success in life. Parent Involvement Matters.Org provides comprehensive online resources that help parents and schools develop partnerships that work to benefit kids. Find materials to start ParentNet, a program that brings parents together at grade-level to understand age-relevant parenting issues. Read articles, success stories, and publications that help improve family involvement.

Keep Your Kids Safe Online

WiredSafety.org offers a large collection of resources on keeping kids safe online. Learn about cyberbullying, online scams, spyware, safe surfing, and good e-mail practices. You'll find parent's guides to understanding online safety issues, links to safe sites for kids of all ages, and tips to protect your family's privacy online.

Translate Your Kid's Cyberlanguage

Do you know what PAW means? How about LUWAMH? It's hard to keep an eye on your kids online when you don't speak the same language. Teenangels.org, a division of WiredSafety.org, offers a downloadable chat lingo translator and an updated list of common acronyms used in instant messaging and text messaging. Netlingo.com is another source for the shorthand and acronyms used in online communication.

How To Talk to Your Child's Teacher

Your child receives a bad grade, and you want to discuss it with her teacher—without either of you getting defensive. The right words can make all the difference. Author Sam Horn has simple tips for talking with teachers and principals that'll help you raise concerns effectively and work together on solutions.

Discipline Problems Hurt Student Learning

Teachers and parents believe that a few persistent troublemakers cause most discipline problems in schools -- but that those few are interfering with other students' learning and causing teachers to leave the profession, according to a new study from Public Agenda. Eight in 10 teachers say students are quick to threaten to sue over being disciplined. The study found that parents and teachers generally support the same remedies for restoring order in classrooms. Read more about the study, "Teaching Interrupted," and answer some of the survey questions yourself to see how your opinions match up.

Give Kids Good Schools

Here's an easy way to help put a quality teacher in every classroom. At GiveKidsGoodSchools.com, a new national campaign from the Public Education Network, you can send an e-mail to your governor demanding that good teachers be a top priority in your state.

Preparing Your Child for Kindergarten and Beyond

Children's earliest experiences can make a big difference in how their brains develop and how well they do in school. That's why finding good child care and preschool programs that help children to learn and grow is so important. Parents' Action for Children offers tips for finding quality child care and preschool programs, as well as advice to help you decide what type of arrangement is best for your child.

Reading Tips for Spanish-Speaking Parents

Reading Rockets, a multimedia initiative of PBS station WETA, created Colorín Colorado! , the first major Web site specifically for Spanish-speaking parents to help their children learn to read. Featuring beautiful illustrations from Caldecott Award-winning illustrator David Diaz and entertaining video clips of celebrities such as the late Celia Cruz, Miguel Varoni and author Pat Mora, the site also includes downloadable resources for teachers and librarians to distribute to parents in their own communities.

Web Site Points Hispanic Students to Scholarships

Get easy access to more than 1,000 sources of college financial aid at the Hispanic Scholarship Directory Web site. Sponsored by NEA and the National Hispanic Press Foundation, the site includes college application guidelines and a scholarship database searchable by state, college, and field of interest.

What Makes a Good School?

What Makes a Good School? (PDF, 26 KB, 11 pp.), from the Center for Research on Evaluation, Standards & Student Testing, uses sound research findings to identify the qualities of a successful school. Good schools, the authors say, have strong and professional administrators and teachers; a broad curriculum available to all students; a philosophy that says all children can learn, coupled with high expectations for all students; a school climate conducive to learning; an ongoing assessment system that supports good instruction; and a high level of parent and community involvement and support.

Develop MegaSkills!

MegaSkills programs, now in over 3000 schools in 48 states, serve diverse communities by training teachers to conduct workshops and provide home learning "recipes" for families. Evaluation indicates higher achievement scores, decreased TV watching, increased homework time, higher attendance and decreased discipline incidents.

Math Help: Go Figure!

The Figure This! Mathematics Challenges for Families Web site offered by the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics provides interesting math challenges that middle school students can do at home with their families. Looking for more math resources? NEA has compiled a list.

Get Help from PBS's Award-Winning 'Between the Lions'

NEA has endorsed the "Between the Lions" TV show for kids 4–7. The series offers educationally sound reading instruction that combines phonics and whole language. Airing weekdays on PBS, Between the Lions is set in a magical library run by a family of big "cats"—lions Theo, Cleo, Lionel and Leona—who run a library where characters pop off the pages of books, vowels sing and words take on a life of their own.

Public Agenda Studies Child-Rearing Challenges

Public Agenda has conducted a number of research reports on family and education topics. The latest, "All Work and No Play?" explores what parents and kids want from out-of-school time. "What Parents Are Saying About TV Today" outlines parents' concerns about sex, violence and profanity on TV, while questions about pop culture, drugs and crime figure in "A Lot Easier Said Than Done: Parents Talk About Raising Children in Today's America". "Playing Their Parts: What Parents and Teachers Really Mean by Parental Involvement" looks at the ways parents and teachers agree -- and disagree -- about what parents should be doing in their kids' schools.

Join the Public Education Network

The non-profit Public Education Network (PEN) believes "that equal opportunity, access to quality public schools and an informed citizenry are all critical components of a democratic society. PEN's goal is to ensure that the availability of high-quality public education is every child's right and not a privilege."

Grade-by-Grade: What Your Child Should Be Learning in School

The Ladies Home Journal offers a grade-by-grade guide that highlights some of the behaviors and learning opportunities that school age children may experience.

What the National PTA Has To Say

The National PTA, the largest volunteer child advocacy organization in the United States, offers parents substantial resources to help them ensure "the success of your child in school, with friends, and in life."

PTO Today Focuses on Parent Group Leaders

Founded in the Spring of 1999, PTO Today, Inc. is a resource for parent group leaders and serves as a connection between those leaders and parent group marketers. Their Web site, www.ptotoday.com, is intended "to facilitate sharing among parent leaders."

Librarians' Picks

The American Library Association recommends quality booklists and Web sites for parents, kids, teens and families, as well as tips for keeping kids safe online.

Family-School Partnerships Pay Off for Kids

The National Coalition for Parent Involvement in Education "advocates the involvement of parents and families in their children's education, and fosters relationships between home, school, and community to enhance the education of all our nation's young people."

NEA Resources

100 Ways for Parents to be Involved in Their Child's Education

Try one or several of these ideas to strengthen the home-school bond.

Make the Most of Parent-Teacher Conferences

Working together, parents and teachers can help children have a successful school year. Parent-teacher conferences are an important part of the process. What should you do to get ready for a meeting with your child's teacher? What questions should you be sure to ask? Here are some tips for making the most of parent-teacher conferences.

Parent's Guides to Homework

NEA, in a joint project with National PTA, has published a guide for parents about how to help students at all grade levels with homework.

Start the School Year off Right

The beginning of a new school year can be the start of a journey toward success if parents, students and teachers work together. Here are some suggestions from NEA for parents who want to help their child start the new school year right.

Help Your Child Learn to Read

When your child doesn't know a word in her reading books, should you tell her what it is? Should you teach your child the alphabet before he starts school? NEA has compiled reading tips to help parents best help their children learn to read:

• Tips for Reading to Preschoolers
• Tips for Reading to and with Children in Kindergarten through Grade 3
• Tips for Reading to and with Children in Grades 4-6

Parent Power Offers Help for All Grade Levels

Parent Power, A Major Ingredient in the Recipe for Educational Success offers "Home Learning Recipes" for children at various grade levels. It’s the educational equivalent of those cookbooks that provide quick, nutritious recipes. The Home Learning Recipes offered on these pages are expressly designed to be used at home.

Discipline that Works

The hope of every parent is to have children who are responsible, concerned members of society. Discipline is, of course, part of this effort. Research has repeatedly shown that, despite the importance of the peer group, parents usually have much more influence than they realize. Disciplining children takes a great deal of effort, but the main idea is that children and parents can change. Find out more.

Motivation for Learning: Parents Can Help

As parents, we want our children to learn. We know the benefits of being able to read well, to write clearly, to solve problems and to communicate effectively. Not only do these abilities allow us to earn a decent living, but they also help us to enjoy life and to appreciate its wonders and beauty. Read more.

Thinking Skills: How Parents Can Help

Thinking and being aware of our own thoughts are skills that make us human. Thinking is an active process. It encompasses events that range from daydreaming to problem solving. It is a kind of ongoing, internal dialogue that accompanies actions like performing a task, observing a scene or expressing an opinion. Find out more.

Talking with Your Child

Have you ever thought about the difference between talking with and talking to someone? Talking with someone puts you and the other person on an even footing. It gives more than one person a chance to express a belief or opinion. Talking to someone, on the other hand, is being—well, patronizing, or worse, domineering, even tyrannical. So only one person has a chance. Read more.

Can We Talk?

Can We Talk? presented in English and Spanish, is a four-part workshop series that helps parents talk with their children about healthy relationships and sexuality, including the prevention of pregnancy, HIV/STD's, drug abuse and violence. Also included are tips for talking with your kids about sensitive issues such as puberty, sexuality, violence and the media.

How Can I Talk to My Child's Teacher?

By Sam Horn, author of Tongue Fu! at School: 30 Ways to Get Along with Teachers, Students, Principals, and Parents (Taylor Trade Publishing, June 2004). Reprinted with permission.

Lisa, a mother of eight-year-old twins, told me, "I've seen all the studies that report how important it is to be involved in your children's education. But every time I try to talk to their teachers, I get the impression I'm bothering them. Any suggestions?"

"Perhaps it's the way you're talking to them," I gently suggested. "Most teachers today are overworked and underappreciated. A friend who's an elementary school teacher told me, 'I try to do the best I can for each student, but it's hard when there are 30 kids in every class. The other day, a parent called to complain that her son didn't understand how to do his homework and she wanted me to spend extra time with him in class. I tried to tell her I don't have a classroom aide and I'm doing the best I can, but she wouldn't even listen to me. She ended up accusing me of not caring. It's so unfair.'"

Would you like to know how to approach teachers and other school staff sensitively so they're receptive to your requests? Here are three common scenarios with suggestions that can improve communications with your child's teacher or principal — and help you work together to help your child succeed.

Your child receives a bad grade

The harmful approach assumes there was an error and uses extreme words ("always, must") that produce extreme reactions. The word "should" criticizes the teacher for something that has already happened, which serves no good purpose — because no one can undo the past. As the saying goes, "We can't motivate people to do better by making them feel bad." The word "should" makes people feel bad and doesn't suggest how this situation could be handled better.

Try this instead: Use "Can we talk" to open the conversation without blaming. Use "In the future" so you're politely suggesting how this could be handled differently next time. The words "In the future," "From now on" and "next time" are ways of coaching mistakes instead of criticizing them.

Your child has been sick and has missed a lot of school

The words "You'll have to" and "You need to" are orders. Do you know anyone who likes to be ordered around? Those words often cause knee-jerk negative reactions because they make people feel verbally pushed around.

Try this instead: "Kind words are short and easy to speak, however their echoes are truly endless," observed Mother Teresa. Instead of telling people what they have or need to do (which produces resentment), turn those orders into courteous requests. Asking "Could you please" gives people incentive to respond in kind because they're being treated with the respect they want and deserve.

Your child has been bullied on the bus

The Harmful Approach uses the word "problem," which is a "fighting phrase" that accuses people and puts them on the defensive. The word "you" makes this statement come across as an attack. Plus, the word "but" pits people as adversaries. (Just look at these phrases: "I know I agreed to do that, but . . . " "I'm sorry that happened, but . . . ") Simply said, people who use the word "but" will end up arguing because they're re-butting each other's points of view.

Try this instead: Use the word "we," which puts people on the same side instead of side against side. Replace the phrase "I have a problem," which focuses on fault, with "What else can we do," which focuses on solutions. Use the word "and," which acknowledges what's being said instead of arguing with it. And, when dealing with troublesome situations, ask how this could be improved instead of giving an ultimatum. Asking questions gives the other person autonomy. They're more likely to suggest a solution because we're sharing control instead of asserting it.

For More Information

Visit www.SamHorn.com for a free copy of the Top Ten Tongue Fu! Tips for getting along with just about anyone, anytime, anywhere.

Talking with Your Child

Have you ever thought about the difference between talking with and talking to someone? Talking with someone puts you and the other person on an even footing. It gives more than one person a chance to express a belief or opinion. Talking to someone, on the other hand, is being — well, patronizing, or worse, domineering, even tyrannical. So only one person has a chance.

Every child knows the difference between being talked with and talked to. But many of us, when we talk — and children are the audience — don't stop to distinguish between with and to. We respond to the needs of the moment — what must be said. As adults and parents, we feel responsible for what our children do and for what happens to them. We feel especially responsible when we have done our best and a son or daughter is not responding.

Blaming Ourselves

Let's suppose that eight-year-old David is having trouble reading. He seems to be falling farther and farther behind at school. You have always helped him with his homework. You've always gone to parent-teacher conferences. You've read to him and had books in the house for him ever since he was small. Now you say to yourself, "What did I overlook when he was a baby? I followed those experts who said that certain toys would have far-reaching effects. But maybe the toys I put in his crib weren't the right ones."

You don't say this aloud of course, because "Where did I go wrong?" sounds far too melodramatic. And besides, you don't want to make things worse for David by letting him know that you have something for which to blame yourself. Instead, you try to talk to David about how important it is to read — both in school and out. You may even tell him how reading will improve his chances of becoming a happy adult, a doctor or lawyer, or of doing something famous like writing a bestseller.

From your point of view as an adult, that makes good sense. Your experience makes it possible for you to be wise about the skills that make adult life better and easier.

Try Listening Instead

But have you ever tried to find out how David feels about his reading right now? Have you listened to him talk about it and thought what his words meant? Maybe he says that reading a book isn't as much fun as playing with his friend Tracy, or as interesting as watching the TV programs you allow him to see, or as exciting as working math problems. Maybe the trouble he has had figuring out the words causes him to be shy about reading in class.

In addition to listening to him, try to ask him the kinds of questions that may encourage him to give you specific information about his feelings. Don't wait for the opportunity to stage a conversation, but talk with him about his day at school while he's helping you put away the groceries or water the plants. With the data that comes from careful listening you can go to your next parent-teacher conference really prepared to work with David's teacher to help him improve his reading performance.

When Stress Threatens To Get the Better of Us

Patiently listening is one thing. But what can we do about those times when we can't help showing our anger in the most spectacular way? This spring Ann amazed you by going out for the baseball team. You're just getting used to thinking of her making home runs when one afternoon, just as you've pulled into the driveway and are lifting your briefcase off the back seat, Anne and five other neighborhood kids approach you looking a little sheepish. Anne tells you hesitantly that one of her home run hits has just broken Mrs. Gavilan's window. "Mother," Anne says, "I didn't mean to, I was just thinking about getting Tommy and José and me back to home plate."

You're furious — with the kids, with baseball in general, with Mrs. Gavilan, who doesn't seem to like children anyway, with that briefcase full of papers you've brought home to work on this evening. And there stands Anne, the handiest target for your anger. You explode. "What business has a girl like you, from a family like ours...." Anne is crushed, the neighborhood kids either pin you with their stares or look everywhere but at your face, until finally one of them says, "Oh, Mrs. O'Connell, it wasn't Anne's fault," and Anne murmurs, "It's OK, Mom. I'll fix it." So chagrin is added to all the other burdens of the day, and you go indoors feeling a complete failure as a parent.

Be Honest

It might help to explain yourself right then. You might put out your hand to Anne and say, "I'm sorry. Sometimes I lose my temper when things don't go according to my plans." Then find out from Anne and the others how the accident occurred. You might even ask if she wants you to go with her to Mrs. Gavilan to see what can be done about the broken window. That would certainly change your plans for the evening.

But it would assure Anne and her friends of your support, your understanding of the accidental nature of the incident, and your ability to be fair in spite of all your other concerns. And it would disarm Mrs. Gavilan before she could organize her offensive against children "with working mothers." Such a show of support would also assure Anne and her friends that you weren't just being mean when you asked them to change the location of the neighborhood game so that no one's windows were endangered.

Some Suggestions To Foster Better Communication

Whenever you want your children to know what you think and desire of them, you might keep in mind a few things that will help you focus on talking with, rather than talking to them:

• Communicate as clearly as possible exactly what you mean. Listen to your words and think how they might be misinterpreted if they don't reflect exactly what is on your mind.

• Listen to what your children are saying. Try to understand exactly what their words mean.

• Whenever you talk with your children, take an even, reasonable, conversational tone. If you show anger, make sure later that they understand its cause. You can explain it without being overly apologetic.

• If your children have subjects they are enthusiastic about, let them teach you something about those areas of knowledge.

• Contribute your wisdom. You have had the opportunity to learn a great deal from your experiences. Don't feel put down when your children say "in your day" or "in olden times, when you were a kid...." Remember that young people are interested in how things were done in the past, and they haven't lived long enough to have your sense of time.

• Encourage your children's curiosity, interest in discovery, and intellectual independence. Ask questions that make them think about their interests and want to learn more about them.

Final Thoughts

If a child is having problems in or out of school, don't waste time blaming yourself. Although you certainly share the responsibility for your children's development, yours is not the only influence on their behavior. Touch base often with your children about the problems they may be having. Be practical and help them look for solutions, both short and long term.

Keep in mind that you can't shield your children from the problems of the real world. Nor can you keep accidents from happening. Some attempts at good parenting may be overzealous. By trying to avoid being too protective and solicitous for your children's concerns you can help them to become truly independent people. An adult who is independent can also appreciate the warmth and support of close human relationships. Talking with a child is one of the best ways to show that you understand the value of that warmth and support and know how to give it.

Tips for Parents: Starting the New School Year Right

The beginning of a new school year can be the start of a journey toward success if parents, students and teachers work together. Here are some suggestions from NEA for parents who want to help their child start the new school year right.

The First Day Jitters

Start talking now about the upcoming school year and the first day of classes. Discuss what to expect on the first day—catching up with old friends and meeting new ones, learning classroom rules and finding out what's ahead. Take note of how you feel about your child going off to school. If you're anxious, try not to let it show!

If you're new to the area, take time to visit the school before classes begin. Walk, drive or show your child the bus route to familiarize him or her with the trip to school.

Getting to Know You

Make time to get to know your child's teacher and classroom aide. Let the teacher know that you appreciate feedback on your child's progress—both positive and negative. Alert the teacher to anything out of the ordinary that's going on with your child or family. Make a point of meeting other school staff members: the principal, school secretary, bus driver, cafeteria staff and others who work at the school. The better you know the school and how it operates, the more likely your child will be to have a productive and positive school experience.

A Place of One's Own

Whether it's a bedroom desk or the kitchen table, every child needs a regular place to study and complete homework. This area should be well lighted and equipped with school supplies like paper, pencils and a dictionary. Siblings should respect the time set aside for studying and not distract the child who is doing homework.

Kids (and Parents) Love Routines

Set aside a specific time for studying every night. Discuss with your child what time of day would work best. Right after school? Just before dinner? Immediately following dinner? If your child attends an after-school program, find out if students will be expected to do homework there. If your child completes homework assignments away from home, plan to review the work at a set time every night. If homework has already been completed, have the child use study time for reading or reviewing problem areas.

Create High Expectations

To learn, children must believe that they can learn. As the parent, you are the most important adult in your child's life. The feedback you give your child—what you say and do about his or her abilities—will have a lasting impact on your child's self-confidence. Be encouraging and praise your child for the amount of effort that he puts into a project. Let her know that doing her best is what counts.

Reading Can Be Contagious

Research shows that children who are read to in their early years do better in school. Make reading a habit in your home, for both you and your child. Each night before bed, read to your child for at least 20 minutes. If the child is learning to read, ask him or her to read to you. For older children, set 30 minutes aside each night for family reading time when everyone reads together silently. Keep plenty of reading materials available—books, magazines and newspapers. Let your kids see you reading and they're more likely to pick up the habit.

Be Prepared for Your Next Parent–Teacher Conference

Talk with your child beforehand about what she thinks are her best subjects or what he likes least. Find out if your child has anything that he or she would like you to ask. Write down your own list of questions. Feel free to ask about your child's progress or about anything you don't understand about the school program. Expect the teacher to show you samples of your son's or daughter's work and to discuss how student progress is measured. Ask how your child interacts with other students. Most importantly, talk to the teacher about ways you can work together to help your child.

Schools + Communities = Success

To be effective, schools need the support of parents and the community. Find out key dates during the year when there will be opportunities for you to participate in school events. Mark your family calendar and your personal datebook now to hold those dates.

Look for specific ways that you can support your child's school. Volunteer a few hours a week in the classroom. Offer to speak to your child's class (or others) about a special hobby or area of expertise. Encourage a local business to adopt your child's school. Join the PTA to ensure that you have a voice in the work of the school. Offer to help with a special school project. Organize a school beautification day.

What the Research Says

Parent Involvement Helps Students Succeed in School and in Life

Research shows that the most accurate predictor of a student's achievement in school is not income or social status, but the extent to which that student's family is able to:

• Create a home environment that encourages learning
• Express high (but not unrealistic) expectations for their children's achievement and future careers
• Become involved in their children's education at school and in the community.

Family-School-Community Connections Work

"When schools, families, and communities work together to support learning, children tend to do better in school, stay in school longer, and like school more." That's one finding of a January 2003 report from the National Center for Family & Community Connections with Schools at the Southwest Educational Development Laboratory.

A New Wave of Evidence: The Impact of School, Family, and Community Connections on Student Achievement also found that students with involved parents, "no matter what their income or background," were more likely to succeed in school—attending school regularly, earning higher grades, passing their classes, and graduating and going on to postsecondary education.

How To Make Parent-Teacher Conferences Work for Your Child

You've been asked to attend a regularly scheduled "report card" conference with your child's teacher. Or you've gotten a special note from your child's teacher asking to see you. In either case, you might be a little nervous.

Well, relax. Teachers don't want to put parents on the spot. They just like to meet with parents from time to time to discuss how to help students do their best in school.

All children learn in different ways. They have their own individual personalities, and their own listening and work habits. To help their students learn new knowledge and skills, teachers must know as much as they can about each child's likes and dislikes. No one knows more about these things than you, the parents. And no one has more influence over your children than you.

That's why teachers need your help to do a first-class job. Working together, you and the teacher can help your child have a successful school year.

Here Are Some Things To Keep in Mind

• Start the conference right: be there on time, and plan not to run over the amount of time that has been set aside, usually about 40 minutes.
• If you are a working parent who can't arrange to meet during regular hours, make this clear to the teacher and try to set up a time to meet that is good for both of you.
• The best conferences are those in which both teachers and parents stay calm and try hard to work together for one purpose and one purpose only: to help your child do well. Arguing, or blaming each other for problems your child is having, helps no one.

Getting Ready

Each teacher will probably come prepared with samples of your children's work and with ideas to help them do even better in school. You should get ready for each conference, too.

Talk to your children before the conference. Find out what they think are their best subjects, and what subjects they like the least. Find out why. Also, ask your children if there is anything they would like you to talk about with their teachers. Make sure your children don't worry about the meeting. Help them understand that you and their teacher(s) are meeting together in order to help them.

Before you go to the school, write notes to yourself about:

• things about your child's life at home, personality, problems, habits, and hobbies you feel it's important for the teacher to know
• your concerns about the school's programs or policies
• questions about your child's progress
• how you and the school can work together to help your child

If your spouse can't attend the conference with you, ask for his or her concerns and questions.

The Conference

Some good questions to ask are these:

• Is my child in different groups for different subjects? Why?
• How well does my child get along with others?
• What are my child's best and worst subjects?
• Is my child working up to his or her ability?
• Does my child participate in class discussions and activities?
• Has my child missed any classes other than ones I contacted the school about?
• Have you noticed any sudden changes in the way my child acts? For example, have you noticed any squinting, tiredness or moodiness that might be a sign of physical or other problems?
• What kinds of tests are being done? What do the tests tell about my child's progress?
• How does my child handle taking tests?

It's a good idea to ask your most important questions first, just in case time runs out before you and the teacher have a chance to discuss them all. Be sure to ask the teacher for specific suggestions on ways to help your child do better. This is the most important part of the meeting. It will become your action plan. If the teacher says something you don't quite understand, don't be shy about asking for an explanation. It's a good idea to end the conference by summing up decisions you've made together. If needed, ask to meet again.

After the Conference

Start immediately on the action plan you and the teacher worked out together. Discuss the plan with your child. Make sure he or she knows that you and the teacher care. To see if the action plan is working, watch your child's behavior and check your child's class work and homework.

Stay in regular touch with the teacher to discuss the progress your child is making. Meeting with your child's teachers should help build strong parent-teacher partnerships—partnerships that are needed if you and your child's teachers are to reach your common goal of helping your child get the best education possible.

Copyright © 1987 The National PTA, National Education Association of the United States, Stock No. 5174-2, Making Parent-Teacher Conferences Work for Your Child

Parent Power—A Major Ingredient in the Recipe for Educational Success

Introduction
Grades K-3
Grades 4-5
Grades 6-8
Grades 9-12

Your Child's Success in School Begins at Home

Each child's first teachers are adults in the home. It's at home that children form their attitudes toward learning. And it's at home that children first learn the values they will carry throughout their lives. Before children formally begin school, they already have been "schooled" at home in the basics of getting along with people, communicating effectively, and solving problems.

All adults want their children to do well in school but with the fast forward pace of today's society, parents and others with responsibilities for children are pressed for time, and they are hungry for advice on how best to assist their children. To help out, the National Education Association offers this brief booklet of Home Learning Recipes for children at various grade levels. Think of it as the educational equivalent of those cookbooks that provide quick, nutritious recipes. The Home Learning Recipes offered on these pages are expressly designed to be used at home. They were written by NEA by a master "chef," Dorothy Rich, founder and president of the Home and School Institute in Washington, D.C., and author of the best-selling book MegaSkills®,which suggests hundreds of practical ideas for instilling in children the values and behaviors essential to school success.

The recipes provided here are designed to boost learning in reading, writing, math, and science, and also to foster the broader "MegaSkills,"including responsibility, perserverance, teamwork, and problem solving. With reinforcement in the classroom, these recipes will help adults at home to become more active "teachers" in their children's lives.

Grades K-3

Educational research has made it clear that parents who are actively involved in their children's learning at home help their children become more successful learners in and out of school. Here are some reading, writing, math and science Home Learning Recipe activities. Parents of young children in prekindergarten through third grade will find them to be easy and enjoyable ways to work with the school--using materials they have at home to build their children's skills.

Reading Activities

Hidden Letters --Build reading observation skills with this activity. Ask your child to look for letters of the alphabet on boxes and cans of food and household supplies. For example, find five A's or three Cs or any number of letters of combinations on cereal boxes, soup cans, bars of soap. Start with easy-to-find letters and build up to harder ones. Then have children write the letters on paper or point out the letters on the objects where they were "hidden."

Telephonitis--Give your child practice in reading numbers left to right by dialing a telephone. Make a list of telephone numbers your child can read--for relatives, friends, the weather bureau--and have your child make a call or two.

Sorting and Stacking--Teach classification skills with dinnerware. Ask your child to match and stack dishes of similar sizes and shapes. Also have your child sort flatware--forks with forks, spoons with spoons.

Let 'Em Eat Shapes--Teach very young children to recognize basic shapes, using toasted bread, jam, and a dull-edged knife. Cut the bread into different shapes--rectangles, squares, circles. Make at least two of each shape, Ask your youngster to choose a pair of similar shapes, then to put jam on the first piece, and to place the second piece on top to make a sandwich.

Dress Me--Increase your child's vocabulary. Teach the name of each item of clothing your child wears--shirt, blouse, sweater, sock, shoe--when your child is dressing or undressing. Also teach the body parts--head, arm, knee, foot. Then print the words on paper and ask the child to attach these papers to the clothes in the closet or drawers. Make a silhouette of the child from a large sheet of paper, tack it to a bedroom wall, and ask your child to attach the works for the body parts to the right locations.

Writing Activities

Comic Strip Writing--Use comic strips to help with writing. Cut apart the segments of a comic strip and ask your child to arrange them in order. Then ask the child to fill in the words of the characters (orally or in writing).

Disappearing Letters--Promote creativity and build muscle control with a pail of water and a brush. On a warm day, take your children outside to the driveway or sidewalk and encourage them to write anything they wish. Talk about what they've written.

Story Endings--Improve listening skills and imagination. Read a story aloud to your child and stop before the ending. Ask the child how the story will turn out. Then finish the story and discuss the ending with the child.

Math Activities

Laundry Math--Sharpen thinking skills by doing a necessary household job. Ask your youngster to sort laundry--before or after washing. How many socks? How many sheets?

Napkin Fractions--Make fractions fun to learn. Fold paper towels or napkins into large and small fractions. Start with halves and move to eighths and sixteenths. Use magic markers to label the fractions.

Weigh Me--Teach estimating skills. Ask your children to make guesses about the weight of several household objects--a wastebasket, a coat, a full glass of water. Then show children how to use a bathroom scale to weigh the objects. Next, have them estimate their own weight, as well as that of other family members, and use the scale to check their guesses.

Science Activities

Ice Is Nice--Improve observation and questioning skills through freezing and melting ice. Add water to an ice cube try and set it in the freezer. Ask your child how long it will take to freeze. For variety, use different levels of water in different sections of the tray. Set ice cubes on a table. Ask your child how long they will take to melt. Why do they melt? Place the ice cubes in different areas of the room. Do they melt faster in some places than in others? Why?

Float and Sink--Encourage hypothesizing (guessing). Use several objects--soap, a dry sock, a bottle of shampoo, a wet sponge, an empty bottle. Ask your child which objects will float when dropped into water in a sink or bathtub. Then drop the objects in the water, one by one, to test your child's hypotheses.

Caring for and Feeding Plants--Teach cause-and-effect relationships. Give your child two similar, healthy plants. As the child to water one plant and ignore the other for a week or two, keeping both plants in the same place. At the end of that time, ask the child to water the drooping plant. Then talk about what happened and why.

Grades 4-5

Educational research has made it clear that parents who are actively involved in their children's learning at home help their children become more successful learners in and out of school. Here are some reading, writing, math, and social studies Home Learning Recipe activities. Parents of fourth and fifth graders will find them to be easy and enjoyable ways to work with the school--using materials they have at home to build their children's skills. Many of the activities focus on talk--sharing ideas and feelings, providing information, and responding to the needs of youngsters to grow as separate and responsible individuals.

Reading Activities

A Lifetime of Reading--Encourage lifelong reading. Read with youngsters by taking roles in stories and acting our dramatic poems. Whenever possible, tape record these sessions. Then listen to and enjoy these performances together.

Street Smarts--Put reading skills to practical use. Gather bus and subway route maps and schedules to a special place in your area--the zoo, a museum, a football stadium. Let your child plan a trip for friends or family. Figure out the transportation available, the travel time required, the cost, and the best time to make the trip.

TV and the World--Connect current events to TV viewing. Post a world map next to the TV set. Watch the TV news with your children and have them locate world news spots. Keep reference books such as dictionaries and the world almanac close by. In this way, children can find answers to questions they might have about words or foreign countries.

Writing Activities

Day-by-Day Calendar--Turn a large calendar--commercial or home made--into a personalized family communication center. Have children fill in the blanks with morning messages, weather reports, birthday, special activities, or notes to the family.

Writing Instead of Talking--Exchange notes instead of words at different times during the day--when getting up in the morning, at dinner, or at bedtime--or whenever the noise level becomes too high.

Picture Stories--Develop imagination and creativity. Have children select four or five pictures from magazines and newspapers, and put them together to tell a story. Ask children to number the pictures--1, 2, 3, etc. First, ask them to tell the story with the pictures in numerical order. Then, ask them to write it down on paper. For variety, have children rearrange the pictures and tell a new story using this different arrangement.

Math Activities

A Trip to the Supermarket--Plan ahead with the 3 R's. Ask your child to choose a dish to prepare for a meal--a pudding, a salad, a sandwich. Have your child check to see what supplies are on hand and them make a written shopping list. At the supermarket, let the child select the food on the list. First, the child decides which items are the best buys on the shelves and then makes selections. Also have the child write the price of each item on the list and figure the total, checking the prices against the sales slip.

On the Move--Sharpen math skills on trips. Use even short trips around town for learning experiences. For example, at the gas station, ask your child how much gas you needed and the cost per gallon. On the highway, ask children to reach the signs and check the different speed limits. Then ask them to watch the speedometer readings and notice how fast or slow the car is going. Have children estimate distances between cities and check the estimates on a road map.

Newspaper Math--Introduce new topics for dinner table conversation. Ask your child to pretend to be an investor and choose a stock from the stock market pages of the daily newspaper. Have your child keep a record of the stock's progress for a week or two and then figure profit or loss. Discuss baseball and football scores and averages on the sports pages. Who are the high scorers? What are the percentages?

Social Studies Activities

History Time Line--Record history at home. Stretch a roll of shelf paper along the floor. Use a ruler to make a horizontal line about three feet long. (Use a separate sheet for each child.) Ask children to fill in the important dates in their own lives, starting with their date of birth. Those familiar with U.S. history can fill in the significant dates since the founding of our country. Display these finished time lines in a prominent place for all to see.

The Foreign Touch--Travel abroad at home. Visit ethnic shops, foodstores, and restaurants in your community. Give your children time to browse, eat a snack or dessert, and perhaps buy a trinket. Before the trip, discuss different ethnic customs and have children find the country on a map. After the trip, let the children talk about what they have seen.

A Closer Look--Look more closely at the family division of labor. Help your children become aware of family responsibilities by making a chart of family chores, including the name of the person responsible, the days and time required, etc. Discuss ways to change or improve these job assignments.

Grades 6-8

Educational research has made it clear that parents who are actively involved in their children's learning at home help their children become more successful learners in and out of school. During the adolescent years, adult guidance is especially important; parents are primary role models and home teachers.

Here are some reading, writing, math, social studies, and health Home Learning Recipe activities. Parents of sixth to eighth graders will find them to be easy and enjoyable ways to work with the school--using materials they have at home to build their children's skills. These activities will also help teens and parents talk together about matters both care about, which improves family communication at this crucial time.

Reading Activities

Getting Around--Put reading skills to practical use. Gather bus and subway route maps and schedules to a special place in your area--the zoo, a museum, a football stadium. Let your child plan a trip for friends or family. Figure out the transportation available, the travel time required, the cost, and the best time to make the trip.

Finding Needed Information --Introduce your child to the many kinds of information in the daily newspaper. Ask your child to find the pages containing news about government leaders, editor's opinions, weather reports or European cities, car sales, house and apartment rentals, and want ads. Discuss how this information is used.

Follow the News--Keep well informed. As a family, choose an important news event to follow to a day or two. Ask each person to find as much information on the topic as possible--read newspapers, listen to the radio, watch TV news. Then talk about what everyone in a special family get-together.

Writing Activities

Nice Words--Make someone happy. Write each family member's name on separate sheets of paper. Add a note or a drawing to each sheet--for example, "I like the way you make breakfast," or "You make me happy when you do the dishes." Fold the sheets and put them in a bag and shake. Ask each person to choose a paper from the bag. Place the notes where they can be found by family members. At the end of the day, talk together about the notes.

Easy Essays--Play a writing game. Make a family game of discussing a special issue--for example, "Teenagers should be allowed to vote," or "There should never be any homework." As youngsters to think of all the reasons they can to support their views. Then, ask them to thing of reasons against their views. First, ask for these pros and cons orally. Then, ask youngsters to write their views on paper. Read these aloud, discussing and comparing them. Which views are most convincing? For variety, assign family members to teams and have teams prepare their arguments pro and con.

Looking at Advertisements--Take a closer look. Help your children improve their thinking and writing skills by looking more carefully at newspaper, magazine, and TV advertisements. What is the main point of the ad? What details does it use to communicate its message? For example, a strong, handsome man holding a soft drink in an expensive care with a beautiful girl at his side is telling us something about the soft drink.

Math Activities

Managing Money--Put math skills to work. Help your children understand living costs by discussing household expenses with them. For example, make a list of monthly bills--heat